What I Learned from a Used Car Salesman
The Bad Experience
I haven’t bought a new car in almost 20 years. Used, yes. Plenty of times. But recently I had one of the worst sales experiences of my life – and it perfectly highlighted what’s broken in sales today.
I had a specific set of criteria: model, year, mileage and price range. I did the research. I knew exactly what I wanted. Finally, I found a car online that fit the bill.
So I filled out the dealership’s form. A woman named Anahi reached out. Her first words:
“When can you come to the dealership to test drive it?”
Annoyance level: already high.
- She didn’t confirm the car was even available.
- She didn’t ask what drew me to it.
- She didn’t ask about my needs.
I pushed back: “I’m not sure I can drive across town until I know more about the car.”
Her reply? “Well, I’m busy. I can call you today at 1 pm or 5 pm. Which is it?”
That’s not customer service – that’s arrogance. And text made it worse. With no pleasantries, no empathy, no acknowledgment of my time, her words came across as flat-out rude.
So I agreed to 5 pm. Rearranged my calendar. And waited.
5:00 – nothing.
5:30 – nothing.
6:00 – nothing.
6:19 – I texted: “I thought we had an appointment?”
7:45 – finally, a message: “Hey, I’m super busy. I tried you at 6 and it went to voicemail.”
Really? No missed call on my phone. No voicemail. Just an excuse, two+ hours late and a whole lot of attitude.
At that point, I was done. Not just with her, but with that dealership altogether.
The Strategic Effects Lesson
Early in my career, I had sales training drilled into me. You had to:
- Understand the product.
- Understand the customer.
- Listen.
- Position the right solution – even if it was not our product.
That foundation is what I now call Strategic Effects:
- Observe – Watch how experienced leaders open a conversation. Listen first.
- Orient – Understand where the customer is in their journey.
- Analyze – Match needs to solutions. Sometimes that means steering them away if it’s not the right fit.
- Act – Provide value. Educate. Make the next step easy.
- Repeat – Do it consistently to build trust.
Anahi did none of that. She went straight to attempting to me me her transaction. Not my needs. Not my journey. And she lost me before she ever had me.
The Good Experience
Contrast that with Anthony from another dealership. I found a similar car online, filled out the form and had an initial chat. A few days later, Anthony called.
First words out of his mouth: “I’m following up on the car you asked about – but I need to let you know it sold.”
Instead of stopping there, he asked:
- “What did you like about that car?”
- “What are your must-haves?”
- “Are you open to other models?”
He wrote it down. Repeated it back to confirm. Then he educated me:
“We get most of our inventory over the weekend. By Tuesday or Wednesday, they’re cleaned, photographed, and online. How about I call you every Friday with updates?”
Brilliant. He asked. He Listened. He provided value. He set expectations, gave me insight into their process and positioned himself as a resource. He has been consistent: every Friday since, he’s checked in.
Why? Because Anthony followed the Strategic Effects playbook:
Did I buy yet? Not yet.
Do I trust him? Yes.
Do I value the relationship? Absolutely.
Do I trust him? Most definitely.
Why? Because Anthony followed the Strategic Effects playbook:
- Observe – He listened first.
- Orient – He learned what I wanted and why.
- Analyze – He considered inventory against my needs.
- Act – He offered a clear, helpful next step.
- Repeat – He continues to show up consistently.
The Bigger Point
Sales is never about the transaction. It’s about the relationship.
Bad salespeople push. Great salespeople listen, educate and add value.
Anahi wanted me on her lot. Anthony wanted to understand me. Guess who’s building long-term trust?
If you’re in sales, here’s your takeaway: Stop focusing on your pitch. Start focusing on your customer’s journey.
That’s how you earn business. That’s how you build credibility. And that’s how you avoid being the stereotype of a used car salesman.
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